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August 08 转载-走出川藏线旅游的误区
April 04 some articles lost and foundHad a chat with an old friend who recently went through a light heartedly handled relationship. Though it was over he realised his blunders and dealt with it like a man, and grew out of it a better person. This is life and we gotta move on, hoping what is meant to be would not slip through our fingers. Pray that happily-ever-after in neverland is after all heaven on earth to those who love with respect and understanding and courage and therefore no shame no regrets...
It has nothing to do with my articles lost and found but somehow they share the simillar message...maybe it's been no pleasure cruise but still, bon voyage!
2008年3月16日
告别相亲之吐之而后快去年7月份回上海后向爸妈信誓旦旦保证会努力解决个人问题。大半年下来相亲不停，尽了人事天意不顺不算我的错倒也博得了爸妈的理解同情不再直接施压。
前三十年接触的圈子都局限在同学家人和同事。回来后同学都已经有了家室，吃完接风饭后义正词严的告诫我不可再和他们已婚人士厮混。家人和相熟的同事呢，纷纷开始致力慈善事业介绍相亲（说是慈善事业是为了有别于8分钟speed date，据说报名费50，生意红火）。回来这大半年的相亲，时刻在提醒自己想开点，就当作观人生百态多认识些人增长人生阅历，补我前三十年之不足。上周在和小孙午餐闲话的时候就说以后一定要把这段人生经历记录下来。
其实，现在我就不吐不快了。晚上吃饭喝鱼汤的时候吞到一根骨头哽着不上不下，折腾半天囫囵吞下很多饭团才渐渐平息，把第二天一家的口粮都几乎解决了一半，平时吃饭都专攻吃菜的。鱼刺在哽吐之不得咽之不下实在不是什么愉快的经历。相亲这类经历留到以后纪念也无益，不如在能吐的时候吐个干净，吐不掉的早点咽下肚，舒畅地哈哈一笑继续我的生活。
说起来每个月都几乎有一次相亲，很多事现在都已经记忆模糊了，就说些印象深刻的吧。
见过一位香港同胞，之前聊得印象还非常好，身为医药公司的财务经理工作努力不满黑暗的制度向往高尚的职业环境和美好的爱情，不知什么原因忽然开始聊起对上海女生的不满，说什么可以date multiple guys而挥洒自如，相比而言似乎还是香港包二奶更有道德意识据说做得鬼鬼祟祟是因为尚知廉耻。我听着暗想是不是曾经受过刺激呀只能对其表示同情，谢谢他说我不像上海人还算是褒奖。。。
认识一位北方男生，自称待人真诚。性格倒是十分豪爽，开口闭口Kao字挂嘴边。还好在芝加哥很是见识过几个同样自认豪爽的东北男生对这个字已经不再陌生，只能先忍着，不想没聊两句就突然问“多久没男人了”？？我再也不能把随便当作真诚，也不说侮辱当作豪爽了就算是地域差异吧。
最近的一次是一位同事好心介绍，当时很关切地问我对方年龄比较大介不介意，我想我也一把年纪了能介意么忙说不介意只要人好。人么是同事的前同事的朋友的朋友，几经辗转很难考证了，只能通过亲自接触去了解。相约见面的当晚接到一通电话，被告知对方酒后驾车在隧道被交警拦下当场吊销驾照，似乎来头很大已经有朋友飞奔去救驾了，还说下周就能搞定。我一直以为酒后驾车是交通违章中的恶劣行为，情节严重的还要刑事拘留，扣证也不是个把月就能解决的。我只能想，这种情况向我尽告知义务倒也负责。由于突发事件见面时间推迟到了深夜，到了约定地点远远走来一人顶着光头西装革履，路灯昏暗却感觉整个人闪闪发光可以照亮一个街区。及至坐下开始聊倒也彬彬有礼，还很热情地拿出iphone向我演示各项功能。
在网上和一位朋友聊起时，恍然大悟地意识到其实经历了这诸多奇怪的相亲我也是难辞其咎，已经不再年轻了还不合时宜地讲感觉，自己却缺少包容热心和乐观的心态，永远被动而且缺乏主见，这样的我是不适宜相亲的。还是安心努力工作，祷告祈求缘分天定得之吾幸不得吾命，告别相亲继续作开开心心的自己吧。
2008年1月24日相亲趣谈自从新公司block msn后很久没有时间上去聊天了，偶尔回家网上碰到熟人也不如在美国时聊得那么有兴致。这年头有了家室的旧友渐渐淡出msn，contact list上的熟人大半下线状态，偶尔上线聊个两句也很快run out of conversation，关心我的朋友毫无例外地会问起最近有否相亲。
去年年中回来时为了安慰爸妈确实努力过，至少不抵制了，朋友中只要有人好心介绍就从不拒绝吃饭，朋友在场没有压力也不需要没话找话。我真是去吃饭了，享受着重聚的喜乐光顾着和旧友聊天嘴筷不停，事后被问及感觉如何反应往往是“这顿饭不错但是不记得其他了”。。。没有感觉自然就被认为要求高，就这样吃了几顿相亲饭后落了这个坏名声。 有什么要求？没啥要求，就两个：健康和善良。这是一位过来之人的经验之谈，很有道理。可是操作起来总是被人质疑，健康和善良之外还有太多的领域需要具体化，没要求的要求被设定了无限的可能暗示着最高的境界，批评我要求高可能还是有道理的。 再有好心人介绍我已经不再积极赴局了，总是反问介绍人就他们对双方的了解是不是适合的一对，这一问往往连饭都不用吃了。介绍的人是好心，不一定对双方都有深刻的了解，有机会就热心撮合。可我的问题得劳烦媒人费神做可行性调研，一个回合后往往以太优秀为由被婉拒，我是省力许多，害得有心做媒之人费心扫兴，就此打消再接再厉的热情。 继续有热情的朋友纷纷出谋划策，一个说要改变形象，一个说要多出门参加活动，也有说要上网交友，还是有人继续努力帮我介绍。甚至连退休后一心在家照顾爸爸除了股市菜市超市没有其他社交活动的妈妈也忍不住一个双休日趁我不在家偷偷去了人民广场的父母相亲角。据说回来时很郁闷，因为一到就涌过来一堆家长问男孩女孩，一听是女生就作鸟兽散。。。很惭愧对自己的事居然如此缺乏热情，害关心我的人担忧。 YY说像我这样的要不找成功人士要不就找心态好的。现实社会节奏快压力大对成功的定义物质化主观而且没有常态，我怀疑所谓的成功人士会有好心态。我就找心态好的，这样的人生应该可以快乐而成功吧。大家要为我加油哦。
2007年1月30日The Pursuit of Happyness"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness" - The Declaration of Independence. In the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness", Chris Gardner said it was very wise of Thomas Jefferson to put the word "pursuit" ahead of "happiness" coz this is something you can never take for granted. You gotta pursue very hard for it, and maybe you can never have it no matter how hard you try - That pessimist's mentality of his never stopped Chris from pursuing his happiness though. With taxes and months of rents overdue, with his wife leaving and a 5-year-old son to take care of, Chris Gardner, like many other lower-class African Americans, is struggling to make ends meet and enslaving himself trying to make a better living for the one he loves. Happiness to him is so plain and simple, it is the very moment when he got a job offer as a stock broker with Dean Witter out of a competitive 6-month internship among a group of 20 candidates. It may be even a bit stupid and shallow to the eyes of nowadays well-fed middle class mediocrities, who know little about hardships, get bored easily at handy comforts, and constantly get distracted to interests elsewhere or some so-called better causes in life which they actually know little of. To the eyes of those who echo Chris' mind and simple philosophy of life, being a stock broker does not necessarily guarantee happiness, but it nevertheless marks the beginning of a better life for him and his beloved little son; the fact that he outsmarts the other 19 candidates is not what made him happy or the reason for him to feel good about himself, he had to do it in order to survive; being good with numbers and good with people may be a good tool for others to achieve success in career, but to Chris it is a tool he uses with love and an unwavering faith to excel at so that one day he and little Christopher can enjoy the happy life he pictured themselves to live...it is amazing that somehow they were still capable of that signature happy smile of the Gardner's during the darkest days of their life, so naive a smile as if neither of them had ever tasted the bitterness of life and could still laugh out loud at some silly jokes like "god saving a drowning man" or the "knock-knock". Some may label "The Pursuit of Happyness" about average, i.e., Hollywood.com rated this film 2.5 stars, while "Curse of the Golden Flower" so far has got a better rating at 3 stars (not sure whether i shall faint or feel proud of it); others may acclaim it to be one of the most touching and inspiring film. The way one sees it sort of reflects the state of existence he pictures himself in his own life, whatever that will be. Yes Love is always the theme underlying good stories, call it unoriginal or stereotype or whatever. To me this is exactly what shines in "The Pursuit of Happyness". Without love, Chris is just a mediocre African American trying to work his way up the corporate and social ladder; without love, Chris's smartness and determination will never impress us so as it did in the movie; and without love their struggle and suffer will never touch us so... Couldn't help quoting the following from the bible, one about men's entitlement to the enjoyment of simple happiness in life and the other about the significance of love: "I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life...So I gave praise to joy, because there is nothing better for a man to do under the sun than to take meat and drink and be happy; for that will be with him in his work all the days of his life which God gives him under the sun....” - Ecclesiastes “If I make use of the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am like sounding brass, or a loud-tongued bell. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing… Love is patient; love is kind; love has no envy; love has no high opinion of itself, love has no pride; Love's ways are ever fair, it takes no thought for itself; it is not quickly made angry, it takes no account of evil; It takes no pleasure in wrongdoing, but has joy in what is true; Love has the power of undergoing all things, having faith in all things, hoping all things; Though the prophet's word may come to an end, tongues come to nothing, and knowledge have no more value, love has no end.” - 1 Corinthians Somehow the verses in Chinese sound more beautiful and meaningful...Oops it goes astray from the topic again, but who cares, I'll just let it go. Best wishes to those in pursuit of their happiness in life and may love be their everlasing source of energy to go on... March 31 给小茵的话最近老是不经意就瞥见别人的一地鸡毛，有相熟的也有半熟不熟的，看多听多了心情难免受影响，而且一不留神自己也沾了一身，觉得亲历着传道书中的“万事令人厌烦，人不能说尽”。有着智慧之王美誉的所罗门历尽荣华洞悉万事满有智慧权柄，到老也不过道出诸如“日光之下并无新事”，“凡事都是虚空，都是捕风”，“多有智慧，就多有愁烦。加增知识的，就加增忧伤”等等叫人听着灰心丧气的话。似乎赐人平安喜乐并非神完全的爱，唯有当头棒喝让你痛定思痛之后的信靠才显得彻底而完全。
保罗在罗马书中说得救是在乎盼望；只是所见的盼望不是盼望。但若盼望那所不见的， 就必忍耐等候。希伯来书也说信是所望之事的实底，是未见之事的确据。神的悖论容易让聪明思辨力求甚解的人误入迷途，倒是像我这样自愧愚顽笨拙之人，惊叹着从小一起长大的好友奇妙的改变，聆听着她婚礼上牧师关于“爱是恒久忍耐又有恩慈”的分享就莫名地感动不已。就这样软弱变作了我的福分，即便是一路的跌绊也总能让我寻得安慰不致失丧。
小茵,很庆幸你虽然小小年纪就尝到不少艰辛却依然找到了安慰和目标；可喜你很懂事全无80后的娇纵任性勇敢地挑着家里的重担作着母亲的依靠；看着你唱赞美诗时脸上的表情让我也一时忘却了自己的一地鸡毛。说着感觉自己真的很沧桑了，换一个调子吧，即便是悟空万有的传道者不也最后说人活多年，就当快乐多年么？让我们专心寻求可喜悦的，凭正直说诚实的话，其他的就让我们相信盼望并等候吧。
对了，有空教我唱新歌 March 29 转贴：被误读的中国地名地名，虽然只是一个简单的名诩，但其中却有着丰富的历史、地理、语言、经济、民族、社会等文化内涵，可以说小小地名就是历史的精髓之一，里面的学问也是相当多，别的不说，仅仅是“读对地名”这一起码的要求，就会让人头疼不已。由于地名的发音有些源于方言，有些源于古音，再加上多音字、字形相近的字，异体字、生僻字也进来掺和，让人非常容易混淆，想不读错都难。
在长期实践中，大家都会发现中国字发音的一个规律，那就是只要这个字你认识一半，你就基本上可以把它读出来，于是就有了“有旁读旁，有边读边，每旁没边扔一边”的速度口诀，而且是屡试不爽。但是在读地名中，往往这会让你一错再错。比如，重庆的涪（Fu2）陵，很多人都念成陪（Pei2）陵，还好有个涪陵榨菜，念错这个字的人越来越少。与此类似的还有，安徽的亳（Bo2）州，几乎经常被读作多了一横的Hao2（毫）州；湖南的郴（Chen1）州被误读成Bin1（彬）州；新疆的巴音郭楞（Leng2）一不留神就被误读成巴音郭Leng4（愣）；内蒙古的巴彦淖（Nao4）尔被误读成巴彦Zhuo2（卓）尔。
除了望字猜音，跟着感觉走念错外，另外很多情况下是因为有些字根本就没见过，哪有不错的道理。如山西的隰（Xi2）县；山东的莒（Ju2）县、茌（Chi2)平；河北的井陉（Xing2）、蠡（Li3）县；四川的郫（Pi2）县、珙（Gong3）县、犍（Qian2）为；安徽的黟（Yi1）县、枞（Zong1）阳；湖北的郧（Yun2）县；浙江的鄞（Yin2）州；江苏的盱眙（Xu1Yi2）、邗（Han2）江，邳（Pi1）州；河南的柘（Zhe4）城，武陟（Zhi4）。
除此之外，更多的误读是因为地名中含有的多音字。如湖北的监（Jian4）利被误读成Jian1（尖）利；河南的浚（Xun4）县被误读成Jun4（俊）县；湖南的耒（Lei3）阳被误读成Lai2（莱）阳，而真正的莱阳在山东；浙江的丽（Li2）水被误读成Li4（立）水,台（Tai1）州被误读成Tai2（抬）州；河北的蔚（Yu4）县被误读成Wei4（魏）县；山东东阿（e1）被误读成东a1（啊）；安徽的歙（She4）县被误读成Xi1（希）县；六（Lu4）安被误读成Liu4安；山西省的洪洞（Tong2）被误读成洪Dong4；辽宁阜（Fu4）新被误读成Fu2（扶）新等等非常多。还有的多音字，一个地方一个读音，如山东莘（Shen1）县，因为有莘莘学子之说一般读不错，但到了上海莘（Xin1）庄你就该念错了；还有一字三音的，如广州的车陂（Po1），武汉的黄陂（Pi2），十堰的柳陂（Bei1）。有些多音字，则是让人意想不到才念错的，如江西铅（Yan2）山中的“铅”，大概不知道“铅”还是个多音字而且是地名专用的字音吧。
其实这里只是列举了一些颇具代表性的地名，而在现实生活中还有很多地名都是非常容易读错的。如果不想误读地名，那就多看看多积累吧。何况读对名字是起码的尊重。
转者补：最后一次相亲一不留神见了位不谙中文的ABC君，据说不懂中文是因为小时候不喜欢被家长逼迫学习复杂又用不上的东西，长大了对中国的文化历史也无甚兴趣而更爱看西方business strategy方面的读物因此事业有成。谈及家世渊源宁肯说父母是台湾的外省人。我的姓按英文的发音规律显然是念不了的，除非误读作宽或queen，所以干脆喊我Min。我听着笑眯眯地滴汗，感觉像是在面试，虽泰然处之却无心恋战只盼尽早结束。后来看到了这篇文章，意识到自己其实也是个半文盲。惭愧之余，特转载此文以为自省。 March 20 转贴 - Why do we call it 'Good' FridayCalling the day of the Crucifixion 'Good' Friday is a designation that is peculiar to the English language. In German, for example, it is called Karfreitag. The Kar part is an obsolete word, the ancestor of the English word care in the sense of cares and woes, and it meant mourning. So in German, it is Mourning Friday. And that is what the disciples did on that day - they mourned. They thought all was lost. And in Chinese, for another example, it is called the Suffering Day. And that is what Jesus did on that day - He suffered for our sins. There are a number of cases in set phrases where the words God and good got switched around. One case was the phrase God be with you, which today is just good-bye. So perhaps Good Friday was originally God's Friday. Or maybe people call it Good Friday because, in pious retrospect, all that tragedy brought about the greatest good there could be. We can see virtue in either terminology. If we call it Mourning Friday (as in German), or Suffering Day (as in Chinese), we are facing reality head on, taking up the cross if you will, fully conscious that the Christian walk is seldom a casual stroll in the park. But if we call it Good Friday, as in English, we are confessing the hope that no tragedy-not even death-can overwhelm God's providence, love, and grace. Either way seems fine. God be with you. |
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